Sour Patch

At this very moment I am eating sour patch kids; the ironic thing is i feel like one. I have been in the weirdest mood today, and I don't know why. This morning my mom woke me up at 6:45 am to move my car out of the way of my dads car, and then she told me they were going to have family prayer, so I asked when, and I guess I said it a little snappy but I was half asleep. No matter, she still got mad at me... so that might have started my day of a little of balance. Then I went back to bed for an hour and got up at 7:45am to get ready to go to school with Jesse. I accompany him every Tuesday and Thursday to school; mainly because it means I get to see him more! What can I say, I take every chance I get. Well I dropped my little brother Jesse off at school, and then went with my Jesse to Weber. It was good, i was a little tired and I was doing statistics so I guess I was mainly neutral then. It didn't really tip my mood scale too much to make a huge difference. Then after school, we went to get Jesses check, and he sort of got a job again... not sure.. I am happy about it, but the saddest part is, is that it is on the days that I come back to see him, so I might not get to see him hardly ever. :( Well I guess I can say that tipped it quite a bit more. Hmmm.. I did have a Peanut Butter Twix today so that helped dramatically tip it the other way. Well after that, we were trying to decide when we should get married, and when the best month would be, and where to live, and pretty much everything. I just don't know how to start! I don't know how to make decisions... gosh, that's probably not a very good weakness to have. We are trying to decide if we should get married in May, or in July... and I'm still terrified of my family. I don't even know how I am going to bring it up to them at all, I don't even want to tell them. I think I will just get married and say "Surprise!" I mean they said they aren't coming anyways, so I don't see why it would matter.. But that is immature of me to say and do, so it probably won't happen. Maybe I can't make this decision because I'm too scared of my entire family. i mean my ENTIRE family, they all flipped out the first time anything was mentioned... and i can just imagine how much worse this time will be. We might be able to live in Gma and Gpa Flint's basement... we haven't asked them yet, but it's a thought... and blah.. I feel like exploding. I don't enjoy making a lot of life decisions... it is that Yes or No that just finishes everything off. It either does a ton of damage or a bunch of damage. I like damage! You know that makes me think... maybe I will go into a demolition job. I will destroy buildings!! WAHAHAHAHA! Well as you can see... I am quite the sour patch today... and I feel bad, because no one deserves to have me shove my sour face into theirs. I need to be happy for them. Well onward... I get to at least be sour until I'm done with my sour patches!!