The color of life

Have you ever felt like you try, but you get no where? You want to get up and do something, but you just don't have the motivation to? You want to get ready, but you think what's the point? 

It's like being in a bright sunny day, with birds singing you their songs, flowers smiling up at you, and grass gathering around your feet, and all you see is grey... grey clouds and sky, you hear no sounds of birds, the flowers are wilted, and the grass makes your feet itch... 

The thing is, it's there ... you see the color, you hear the songs, and the grass is better, but all on the other side of the hill. Now all you have to do is get up that hill. How do you do it? How do you pull yourself up out of the pits, out of your grey prison? It's so far away that you feel like you'll never make it to that side. You have to focus all your energy to take just one step, and once you take that step it feels like an eternity went by. 

The worst part is looking in the mirror, and realizing that you are this way... that for some reason it has taken over your body... and you know you have to pull yourself out of it, but you can't... until something hits you so hard that you fly into that color, making you realize how good it really is to get ready, to be motivated, to feel the warm sun on your back, to dance to the songs the birds sing, and to dream with the flowers as their colors take you over. 

What does it take to get something to hit you that hard? How do you make it come? You want it so bad, but you can't find it. It takes you back to the phrase... a needle in a haystack.... except this time, the haystack seems as though it is 50 feet tall and you are only an inch high... where do you start?

You see your family and friends enjoying themselves in the sun, they call to you, but you don't come... you try.. or you want to try... but the grey is so thick that you can't walk through it... it starts to cloud your vision of the sun, the birds, the flowers, the other side of the hill... pretty soon you won't be able to see it anymore. That's when you're truly lost. That is when you need a hero, you need someone to come find you, to pull you out... to lead you to the other side of the hill. 

"The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance; the wise grows it under his feet."  ~James Openheim . 

You are foolish... you know you are.. it's time to follow the advice of those who aren't. Don't go toward the hill, don't try to find your way through the clouds of grey, don't search for that big hit that will give you a headache once it's found. Bring it to you. Focus on the grass, the spot right under your feet and imagine the green. See it, feel it... it will start out as a speck, but the more you focus on it, the larger it will get. Soon you'll be able to see the flowers in the grass, and then you'll hear the birds, finally, the sun will hit your back and you will remember what it felt like to see, hear, and feel the color of life. It's there... just reach out and grab it.